Here’s the shortest version i can come up with:

My husband was a totally different person while we were dating. Totally. We did not live together before marriage. The change in him and his attitude toward me was so sudden after we were married that I was in shock and quickly became depressed. Very depressed. He is not a communicator and totally avoids conflict and confrontation which is why it wasn’t really talked about much.

I was emotionally and physically neglected for years and sunk deeper and deeper into depression. I have been in therapy for almost ten years because of this marriage. I have given up a lot of things to stay and try to make this marriage work. He would “try” just enough to make me want to keep trying. I am 47 years old and feel like I have wasted my life.

Because he is the most judgemental person I have ever met and a major major control freak, my self esteem is in the toilet which will make being on my own very difficult.

He owned the house we live in before we got married and my name was never put on the deed, basically because we started having problems right away. We do not have any children together, and we have no joint accounts or debts that I can think of.

My question is, does the emotional abuse (I have a therapist that will confirm it was abuse) help my case at all? This marriage has basically damaged me in a semi-permanent manner to the point where I don’t know if I can even function on my own. I know that my husband has handled his financial affairs with the sole purpose of protecting himself should we divorce. I know very very little about his affairs, but I know that he is manipulative and sneaky and dishonest. (I did not know this before I married him) I am so afraid I have devoted myself to this relationship for 15 years for nothing. I’m afraid I wont’ be compensated fairly because he is so sneaky and has had so much time to make sure his financial situation is “safe”. Please help me with some good advice.