My daughter is 9 years old and has lived with me her entire life. Her father has been a deadbeat/ off/on father for years, more off than on. My daughter has never spent more than 2 days with him and all of a sudden he is hinting at taking me for custody. He owes arrears of almost $6,000. He has recently started calling her once a week for only the past month. He has been living out of state for nearly 3 or 4 years and while in another state got in trouble with the law and has been on porobation for almost 3 years as far as I know.
I am married (I have been with my husband for nearly 5 years). So my husband is the only father figure in a parental role that my daughter knows. I do not trust my ex whatso ever. We were never married and I’ve had custody of her since forever, offcially on paper in 2000 when I took him for child support. We have a very bad relationship and can barely talk without having an argument. It got so bad that I told him he was not allowed to call me on my cell phone, that any calls he made had to be done on the house family phone. he then tells me he will make things bad for me if I try to keep him from his daughter. I told him I never kept him from her, that he did a fine job of that himself over the years. He is on probation I know for at least another year, but when he returns to MD I know he will be an issue and we will most likely be in court. Will a judge look at his history and deem him unfit for custody? He would go as long as a year without calling her, he only paid the support when he was forced and faced possible jail time. He has NEVER had her for any extended period of time, 2 days being the longest he has had her under his supervision in nearly 10 years. I think my husband and I are in a much better position when we go to court, but I just do not know. My ex has been arrested for police evasion and possession of drugs. He has admitted to me to selling and distributing drugs. He has a bad temper and pulled a gun on his ex wife. He is just a volitile character and I don’t want him anywhere near my daughter but I have a feeling that given all that he might still have “rights”. Any advice?
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I would write down and document as much as you can about his criminal past. Keep a log of any threats that he makes to you. Keep a log of everytime he calls your daughter. Write down when he admitted dealing drugs. Also, will his ex-girlfriend testify to the fact he pulled a gun on her?
I think this guy sounds very dangerous. I would talk to a child custody lawyer asap and see what your options are. I think an order of protection (restraining order) may be necessary if he says that he will “make things bad”. Think about the safety of you and your family foremost.